Plant-strong & healthy living: Rip Esselstyn at TEDxFremont

A failure... to learn from.

I questioned whether to write about this next chapter in my life... and I can always delete it later, but thought again that some of you might be dealing with the same things. As my horses were no longer with me, and rally was over, I was looking for real work... with real hours.

So, I got myself a job... in the special education room at an elementary school.

Now, let me preface this by saying that when I applied, I thought and presented mysef as a tolerant, patient, easy going person.

And then I started the job.

And I learned nothing could be further from the truth... in this situation. I was assigned one young boy with severe cognitive disability. Basically, I learned, my job was to babysit. By law, this boy had a right to a public education, even though it was clear, it just was not possible. I found myself in the position of babysitting under the guise of teaching...

What was interesting was that I was constantly reminding myself that if this boy was my horse, I would be doing a better job. I would have other things to try. But the bottom line was that there was far more and far better communication between me and my horse than anybody and this boy.

Now, what has this job got to do with mental, emotional and physical fitness? I'll tell you. Once again, I thought I was fitter than I turned out to be. Once in this position where I felt no satisfaction from my efforts, where I felt my communication was falling on deaf ears, I was looked at blankly all day long.  And as I write this... I wonder how many of our horses have the same feelings of complete uselessness and incompetence as I had in that job.  

So, there are two main points to this blog. One is that I was woefully out of my depth in the department of mental fitness when dealing with this environment. I was never so unhappy and dissatisfied and I did  not deal with it well. And to be honest, I'm still trying to figure out how I can be better next time. Point two, is that I think I can now understand how a horse might feel when they have tried so many things and are still not getting anywhere. They are frustrated, angry and feeling bad about themselves.   

And I can completely understand why that horse might strike or kick or buck.  So, while I am not sure if my natural horsemanship helped me deal with this job any better than I would have... I do think this job has given me a better base of understanding when relating to a horse.

Dachia Arritola

All of September... in one post.

September went by quickly. I was living in the mancave of a friend of mine. Full size fridge, half filled with beer, a Foosball table, and Rally posters on all sides. But the bed was comfortable and my dogs and I were safe. Outside the back door to the mancave, I could often see deer, turkeys and other wildlife. Loved that.


 It was good to get out and get some exercise in the beautiful hills. The pic to the left is of the Mickelson Trail, which has some incredibly beautifully spots.

This picture is of me and the dogs, at Devil's Bathtub, which is a gorgeous hike and lots of places to stop.  This is a good place to work on all your fitness. I was glad to not be spending every waking minute trying to track down a single bale of hay.

Dachia Arritola

New friends... new places.

Lloyd, the resident sweetheart, and Harcala, MY sweetheart.

The place where my ponies were being kept was the home of the woman who owned the bar/restaurant where my camper was... and she was also my employer. You might think that I would see her all the time. Actually, I rarely saw her. At the home, was her father in law, who is a very sweet and kind older gentleman. He was raised in ranch country and took a liking to my horses. He particularly enjoyed Vesna's company, and she his. I enjoyed hearing him tell me what she had done or that she runs to the fence to meet him.

I had been promised several times that I would have more hours at the bar, but they never seemed to materialize. I would bring it up and I would again be assured I would have more hours. This was tolerable because I had little overhead and all that overhead was to my employer. I figured, well if I can't make rent or board, maybe I'll get those hours. My co-workers would tell me they were told the same thing and as business major, I would (on a cocktail napkin) crunch some basic numbers and scratch my head as to the decisions being made there.

It did finally sink in, that I needed to keep looking. My boss knew I was looking for some place where I could have my horses with me, but she also knew I really needed more hours if I was going to stay.

At the same time, the state and surrounding area was experiencing a drought not seen in years, if not decades. And hay was nowhere to be found. I was hearing from ranchers at the bar that they were shipping in hay from hundreds of miles away and that I should be prepared to pay double for it. I was willing to pay whatever I had to, but it was not for sale.

Working the rally... making the best of it. ;-)

I sat in my little camper and gave some thought to my situation and decided that I would have to make some hard choices. I would have to send the horses back to WI, where hay was available. And since they were the only reason I was living in a camper, I could give notice, live in a real house, get a real job... and start over... again.

My horses in WI, grazing on the lawn

My sister came out to pick up my horses and she and I worked Sturgis Bike Rally together. I was now living in Sturgis, with employment offers and comfortable bed.

It was difficult to send my horses off, but I convinced myself that it was just for the winter, they would be back in Spring, hay would be available next year... and we would all be together again.

My mental, emotional and physical fitness was getting better. I was making better choices and making them with enough time that we could move at a far more comfortable pace.

Dachia Arritola

Starting to settle, as best I could

The horses seemed to acclimate fairly quickly to their newer, much smaller digs. They had been on a couple acres of pasture, next to a river (that was hardly a barricade for intelligent ponies). When I first realized that the place I was living was not going to work for the duration I had anticipated, I started coming up with alternate plans. As much as I hated to divide my herd again, I felt that sending the mares back into a long-term breeding lease was the best thing for them. I knew the people who would be caring for them, and I would have fewer horses to figure out what I was going to do with.

Additionally, both these mares are such good broodmares and have such great bloodlines, that they should be producing, as the Fell Pony still has a very small gene pool, particularly in this country. So, I sent a message to Bonnie's breeder, Cheryl Dutton of Braeberry Farm in Oregon, was happy to throw around some ideas where Bonnie and Yelena are out there in their breeding program. By the time the stuff had hit the fan that morning, I already had made arrangements with Cheryl to come get the mares. This made moving them all to that very small area easier, as I knew it was only for a couple days. Once we were all out of the bad situation, my emotions started to level off... but I did make a mental note that I was somewhat of a basket case and clearly my fitness levels needed work.

On that note, I started making notes. How could this have been better? What if this happens again? A I do not own my own place yet, and am at the mercy of others... it could happen at any time.  So, how would I be different?Was there anything I could do now that would alleviate the stress of that moment?

Part of that answer came as I thought about what had happened and that we were all safe. Our living situations were far from ideal, but we were safe and nobody was threatening our lives. Basically, once you make it through something, you can look back and say, "phew... I made it it." And that feeling helped me let go of the "Oh my God, what if this happens again?!"  I knew my horses would cope with whatever I threw at them. They weer not crazy about their tiny pen, but they got along well enough and they were laid back.

My dogs were probably use to moving as much as I was, and the key for them was always taking their dog beds.

And my key?  Well, I think a key for me was to know I would make it. The world is full of kind-hearted people, like the neighbor with the horse trailer who came over right after dinner and allowed me and my horses to do our thing without question. I still had a good friend and family nearby who would help me and we all would land on our feet, eventually. Once you know that... I mean really KNOW that, all the what-ifs are easily shrugged off.

Dachia Arritola

The Testing of My Emotional Fitness

I have involuntarily taken some time off from blogging, but I hope I can get back into the swing. There has been a lot going on here, and several things worthy of posting about, as I know lots of us are dealing with the same stuff.

A couple months ago, I moved very quickly from where I was living to a parking lot of a bar/restaurant. Me, my horses, dogs and stuff, in about 7 hours. While I had been feeling more and more uncomfortable at this place, with broken fences and gates made of barbed wire, and no fencing on one side at all.... I was still hoping  could get through it.

Everything came to a head one morning and I realized I was not safe. Not only that, but the security of my horses was very much a question. And I made a decision. We were leaving... today... ASAP. Couple calls to friends and family and I had help loading stuff. A call to a kind neighbor and he arrived with a horse trailer.

As most natural horsemen can attest to, we are a little particular about who we let drive our horses. But I had a good feeling about this guy, and it wasn't a long distance, and I was right in front of them... and I didn't have much of a choice. He had asked if the horses were tame (lots of horses out here are not... actually... lots of horses all over are not), and I said yes... I would be happy to load them myself.

I had all of them standing there with their rope halters and leads, and decided who was going to be first etc.  they all just stood there waiting for their turn, and the neighbor smiled and shook his head. His job was to actually not let the others follow me on. I did tell him he could let one go, as she was next in line anyway, and she loaded herself without issue. 

They traveled without incident and unloaded easily and entered their new paddock. I was so thankful they had such good manners and such good attitudes that I was able to load and unload all 5 by myself and not need help. They were all mentally, emotionally and physically fit.

I, on the other hand... was not. I was nearly in tears all day from the stress of trying to move without looking like I was moving (it wasn't until the horses were leaving that the gig was up). I was tying to keep my dogs safe, move stuff to storage, make arrangements for a camper to live in, get the horses ready and moved...  by 11:00 PM, I was so exhausted physically and emotionally, I didn't have the energy to cry- just fall into bed.

Another stressor for me was that my horses were no longer with me.  They were about a mile away. This was very difficult to deal with it. There were, of course, times when I was not able to have my horses right with me, but usually I was still able to have them with people I trusted. Fortunately, this time, they were at a place that use to have horses but didn't any longer and all of their care would be given by me. Nobody would be out there.

The dogs and I were to stay in a 12 foot camper on the parking lot of a bar/restaurant until I could find another place for all of us. I'll leave you with that for now. There is much more to be discussed about mental, emotional and physical fitness and the choices we make.

Dachia Arritola

Make good choices.

When we play with our horses, we know that every choice we make has an effect on the situation. The same is true for the choices we make in our own lives. The food we eat, the company we keep, the relationships we have, the jobs we hold, the exercise we do. These are our choices. Let's make choices that give us long, healthy, vibrant, useful, and passionate lives.

Dachia Arritola